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Send your match reports to king@kingcricket.co.uk. We’re only really interested in your own experience, so if it’s a professional match, on no account mention the cricket itself. (But if it’s an amateur match, feel free to go into excruciating detail.)

Sam Blackledge attended day two of this year’s England v West Indies Test at Edgbaston.

Sam writes…

When attending a cricket match, it is important to follow the spectator code of conduct at all times.

1. Zero tolerance to bad behaviour

Walking from Birmingham New Street station to Edgbaston, I was flanked by a group of fans in fancy dress. I think they were supposed to be cavemen.

As we made our way along Pershore Road, they started having a pretend fight, wrestling each other to the ground and rolling into front gardens. I thought about saying something. ‘Lads, there’s no need for that. We’re all just trying to get to the cricket.’ I chose to stay quiet. But inside I had zero tolerance.

2. Stay off the field

My playing career, such as it was, ended some time ago. Ageing limbs and family life mean I no longer have the ability, time or energy to cross the proverbial white line, let alone the spongy advert-strewn boundary toblerone.

Those who can, do. Those who can’t, flick through their Playfair Annual looking for obscure statistics.

3. Show respect to staff, players and fellow fans

On arrival at the ground, I got caught in a crush of spectators surrounding a very tall man who seemed to be attracting a lot of attention. It was Curtly Ambrose. He could barely walk five steps without somebody asking for a handshake or a selfie. I thought about doing the same, but the great man clearly just wanted to be left alone.

Lunchtime arrived, and with it my regular visit to the Raglan stand to meet up with your friend and mine, Ged Ladd.

Rain was beginning to fall, but it was lovely to be reacquainted with this parish’s most prolific commenter, along with Daisy, Harsha Goble and Johnny Two Phones (who informed me one of his phones was broken). Remembering my pledge of respect, I made my excuses and left them to it.

4. Remain seated during play so that others can see

For most of the day I was in the West Stand, side on to the pitch. At teatime I was invited to join some friends high up behind the bowler’s arm at the Pavilion End. It was a much better view. But I’d been smuggled in using somebody else’s ticket, so didn’t technically have a seat.

My pals kindly stood with me for a while, until three chairs became available. The rest of the session passed in the thrilling knowledge that I was still following the code of conduct.

5. Drink responsibly

The bar had a disappointing selection. With no real ale on tap – and a general consensus that Carling is the devil’s piss – we opted for a couple of pints of Stowford Press. They were £8 each. I suppose that’s one way to promote responsible drinking.